Hacks from the Arctic

Goodbye, Finland! Really, who’d have thought I’d end up spending five years working for an acrobatic hand-balancing school in Helsinki? What an adventure! I’ll miss the fascinating parade of ways to prepare fish, the year-round Santa Claus vibe and the hectic forests of wild deer and squirrels outside the city.

Here’s what I won’t miss: the endless winters, complete with minus 35 degree temperatures. You can keep those, and your north pole vibes too. I’m completely thrilled to be returning to a Melbourne winter… how I’ve missed those balmy 7 degree days! This is going to be a breeze, and a warm one at that, now that I’ve got an unbeatable kit of winter clothing: the cosiest and most waterproof boots money can buy, ultra-lite convertible gloves, coats that don’t mess around, and thermals out the wazoo. It’s probably going to be excessive for Melbourne, but hey – I won’t be wanting for climate controlled comfort when I’m out and about. 

I wonder if I can get through the winter without having to cough up for that ducted gas heating repair. Technicians Melbourne wide seem to agree that you shouldn’t run ducted heating when it’s not working properly, so I’m thinking maybe I just won’t use it. That way, I can put off getting it fixed for another year. It probably won’t be that hard to manage, given how temperate it is here compared what I’ve gotten used to. 

I have to say, I’ve become something of a connoisseur when it comes to heating systems for homes. Melbourne houses, I now realise, are often not optimally set up for powerful heaters, which means they can run inefficiently at times. I mean, what’s the point of warming everything up if the heat’s going to dissipate through the ceiling as fast as you can generate it?

Maybe I should start a business as a consultant on all things related to keeping warm. I certainly have the credentials, and it might be easier than trying to find another circus admin role.