You know, for the very first time, I’ve encountered a sound that I really don’t like. I’ve always thought that there’s beauty in all things that you can hear, hence why I’ve devoted my life to symphonic poetry with a focus on onomatopoeia. And yet…I was wrong. Oh, very intriguing! What strange phantom is this!
We’ve been studying Shakespeare in my short course on how to interpret literature through smell.
Anyway, I went to my friend’s prayer vigil on the weekend, held in honour of his very first guitar that was sadly dashed to pieces when he made the mistake of playing a mainstream song at a hipster bar. The patrons rushed upon him in a rage, flinging the guitar out the window. In retrospect he said that it was unfair that the guitar had to die for his mistake.
Anyway, we placed the remains of the guitar into a boat, and I played a song for that occasion on my banjo, called ‘Guitar Song (banjo arrangement)’. Then we lit some candles, and said a prayer and…I was so distracted. Just over the way, I think some stainless steel marine welding was going on. I’ve listened to such a sound before, and it was quite soothing. It was a wrenching, clanging magnificence; I wrote a song about it and everything! But now, it really did just sound like a lot of noise.
I felt quite ill, even though I was able to finish ‘Guitar Song (banjo arrangement)’. I watched those candles float away into the ocean, and as Brenda raised her bassoon to her lips to play The Last Post, I felt my innocence slowly sliding away.
And then I went to the doctor’s, because it really started to hurt. Turns out I have tinnitus! Too much exposure to loud noises, apparently. I KNEW the sultry sounds of stainless steel marine welding weren’t the problem. All of that stuff, all the fitting of bait boards, it’s all as melodic as it ever was. Nothing to worry about; all sounds are still beautiful. Except the ringing of tinnitus, apparently.