Holding Out for a Hamster-Person

I just can’t wait for the future, when hyper-intelligent hamster people will be doing all of this work for us. Some people think it’ll all be bots, but I seriously don’t think so.

I’m not sure mankind could exist without there being dedicated spaces for admin. Since the very first time someone scratched a few lines on a wall because they ran out of fingers and toes to count with, we’ve had admin, and offices of people doing paperwork (or papyrus work, whatever) weren’t too far behind. Offices are so ingrained in human culture that I just can’t see a single scenario where we get rid of them. So many people would be out of a job, and even more just wouldn’t know what to do.

Think of the office designers based in Melbourne. They’d be out of a job if the whole operation was taken over by bots, because bots don’t need office design. They don’t have to impress any clients, they don’t care about their surroundings…it’d all just be a huge waste. They won’t even be using the kitchen space; it’ll just be converted into extra room for more robots to type away on computers.

That’s why we need hyper-intelligent hamster people, just smart enough to have the knowledge of how to do office work uploaded into their brains, but not smart enough to rebel against their human masters. Obviously if you can do office work, then you can appreciate a really nice office design. That means all the companies that do proper office fitouts are most definitely still in a job. Those hamster people need to work in comfortable and stylish surroundings, after all. They deserve it. It won’t be in the constitution or anything, but as sub-humans they’ll be afforded certain rights, and a comfortable working environment with fresh water and straw will be one of them. But also, stylish office design. Obviously.