I Would BE the Wandering Porcupine

Man, I sure do wish I could perform ninja feats in real life. Ugh…it’s like, you want to be able to do all that stuff, but instead of your whole family being murdered by a rival shinobi clan and you being tossed into a well to be found and raised by a warrior monk who renounced the ways of the shinobi who becomes an efficient-yet-extremely brutal father figure and trains you to be the perfect assassin to make up for his past failures and can only express love through his fists and the brutality of combat…I was just born in Melbourne. My parents are both social workers. BORING.

I gained a spark of hope when I heard that they were offering trigger point dry needle courses, in Melbourne as well! That’s like, not acupuncture, but the sporty version of it. You have to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the human body, where all the trigger points are, and where to insert the needle for maximum effect. Such skill, and courses are currently available all around Australia. Imagine what all the guys on the forum would say if I learned trigger point dry needling!

I’d basically be the protagonist from Izod, Student of the Porcupine King!, who travelled a mystical land honing his skills to bring relaxation to a host of charismatic villains. That guy could throw a needle over 500 yards and still hit his target in the exact spot where they needed to relax. Sometimes he did trick-shots where he bounced the needle off smooth surfaces, and who could forget his signature technique: Heavenly Rotation Finger Shot Cannon Needle Relaxant!

Ah, yeah. With a trigger point dry needling course under my belt, I could help people relax and recover from injuries just like Jizo. My life would have meaning, aside from watching and one day creating Japanime. Not to mention knowing about trigger points could come in handy for all kinds of other stuff. Could save my life one day, who knows?